


Three Men

by bakedgoldfish



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e18 17 People
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-21
Updated: 2003-08-21
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedgoldfish/pseuds/bakedgoldfish
Summary: Post-ep to17 People





	Three Men

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Three Men**

**by:** Baked Goldfish

**Character(s):** Leo, Jed, Toby  
**Category(s):** Post-ep  
**Spoiler:** 17 People  


I can't breathe. 

Is Toby right? I don't know. He might be... he just might be. 

I can't breathe. 

Concentrate. I need to concentrate. We heightened security, but that won't do much except... I don't know. Will it do anything? We heightened security, but when Toby found out, it blew up anyway. I mean- 

I need to concentrate. We could have terrorists in our midst. They could be walking around, waiting for the opportunity to take us out. Just one small slip, and boom. It would be so easy... It could all crumble away, with just one mistake. If we don't watch for it, if we're not vigilant about it. All of it, gone. Through subterfuge and lies. 

Swear to god, Toby, we didn't lie to anyone. We didn't ask anyone to, either. With the doctors, it's patient-doctor confidentiality, right? And, the others... they just decided on their own. They never... 

Nobody ever lied. We just... twisted things? No, we just kept it hidden. But that's lying, isn't it. We didn't lie. We just didn't let anyone know. It was withholding information. Nobody asked, and we didn't tell. 

I'm drowning... 

*** 

I looked at him, after Charlie left. 

He looked like he'd aged ten years. He looked lost. Falling. Like this wasn't what he'd expected. 

Truth be told, this wasn't what I'd expected either. But, it happened. I don't know why... yes I do. Toby's a politician. As well he should be, in this office. If I'd told him in the residence, it would've been different. He would've been different. But here, in this office, he was a politician. As well he should be. 

Leo... Leo. He was torn, that's for damn sure. He tried to read through those FAA reports afterwards. Tried to make sense of them. I don't think he did. I don't think he could. 

I was fuming. Toby was fuming. Leo was looking as if he'd been punched in the gut. I don't even think he was this worried last May. Tonight was different. Tonight, he started thinking that he was not able to tell the difference between politician and friend. He thought he couldn't differentiate, and he was afraid he'd never been able to. 

I know he could tell the difference. That's why he started the reelection committee so damned early with Toby. Because Leo's always been able to use one side of our relationship to augment the other. He's a good politician. And he's a good friend. 

And now he's worried that he's neither. 

*** 

Have you ever, you know, just wanted to break something? I mean, just completely destroy whatever's around you. Like, take it in your hands, whatever 'it' is, and just throw it against a wall. And then take a sledgehammer, and crush the wall, too. 

Have you ever had that feeling? 

I guess it goes without saying, I have. I'm having it right now. Of course, I can't exactly let it out. I'm supposed to be 'bringing the funny' right now. It wouldn't be professional to get angry. 

I'm usually okay about things. I'm usually calm and collected, and things don't bother me. Well, they *do*, but I never have these types of thoughts. When things bother me, I do whatever's in my power to fix them. 

Somehow, I don't think it's in my power to fix what's bothering me right now. And that's really something else, you know, knowing who I am and all. Because I'm pretty damn powerful. I know people who can get things done. And for there to be something beyond my power to fix? 

Well, that's... that frightens me. 

Not much frightens me. I haven't been frightened in... since... I can't even remember the last time I was frightened. Even that warm May night, I wasn't frightened. For a moment, maybe, but not for long, anyway. Once I got the details, I was okay. Back to business as usual. Or as usual as one could have gotten. 

But, I'm frightened now. Because I can see a very good man deteriorating before my eyes and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Because I can see that man's best friend getting caught between a rock and a hard place, and there's not a damn thing I can do about that either. 

I'm a politician. I ask political questions before all else. I shove feelings aside, and bring up what needs to be brought up. I'm a politician, it's what I do. I asked who else knew. I asked if they'd thought about the repercussions. I asked all those questions that a politician is supposed to ask, and more. And I pushed my humanity to the side. 

What else was I supposed to do? They didn't sugarcoat it, they didn't beat around the bush, they didn't try to hide behind anything. They were blunt. And it was in the Oval. That set the tone; it was a professional matter, nothing else. I wasn't to bring personal feelings into it. 

God knows I wanted to. God knows I wanted to scream at the President for putting himself in danger like that. God knows I wanted to scream at Leo for letting him put himself in danger like that. God knows I wanted to just shut down. But I didn't. Instead, I screamed at him for setting himself up for impeachment, for letting Leo be in charge last year in the sit room. Because that's what happened. He was having an attack, and Leo, who was not elected, was placed in charge. Not officially, but in reality it was he who called the shots that night. 

I'm not saying that I don't care that Leo's the President's most trusted advisor. I'm not saying that I don't care that they've been best friends for almost as long as I've been alive. I'm not saying I don't care that I trust Leo would never ever in a million years conciously do anything that would hurt Bartlet's presidency. 

I'm saying that three hundred million Americans don't care about that stuff. They'll care that their president may or may not be able to function in two years. They'll care that he inadvertently allowed a coup d'etat, temporary as it may have been. They'll care that he kept it secret from them for two, three years and it doesn't matter that nobody was ever asked to lie because that's the way they'll see it--that they've been lied to. 

I'm saying that he didn't trust us enough to tell even his top advisors. He didn't even tell Leo until last year. And neither of them have told anyone else on staff. 

All right. So I brought personal into it. Yes, I admit it, I, Tobias Ziegler, am a human being. 

Well, so's the rest of this country. 

And they're not nearly as understanding as I am. 

-end- 


End file.
